Phuket Vs Pattaya – Clash of the Titans


Ever wondered what would happen if Pattaya and Phuket had a fight?

Phuket and Pattaya are the two heavyweights of the Thailand tourism industry. If Phuket and Pattaya locked horns in the squared circle, one would expect a clash of the titans and a match-up of contrasting styles.

Pattaya would be a bruising slugger, relentless, heavy-handed and gifted with a granite mandible. Phuket would be a boxer/puncher, diverse with its skills and light on its feet but perhaps not showcasing the same one-punch knock-out power as Pattaya. I am the perfect ringside judge to score this fight as I have resided in both beachside destinations for considerable amounts of time.

Ladies, gentlemen, and fight fans in attendance, alongside the millions watching around the world, this is an 8-round bout to determine who the undisputed Heavyweight Tourism Champion of Thailand is. Let’s get ready to rumbleeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phuket Vs Pattaya

Round 1 – Shopping
This is a tough category to score, with both destinations showcasing great shopping options such as Central Festival, Big C, Tesco Lotus, Villa Market, Home Mart and so-on. The telling blows and power shots are landed by Pattaya, due to the amount of choice on offer. Even though Phuket can go blow for blow with Pattaya in this category, the Pattaya shopping outlets simply offer more diversity thus having more leverage, where Phuket seems to only sell the same kind of items and nothing so diverse.
Scores: Phuket 9 – Pattaya 10

Round 2 – Scenery
Phuket starts to pick up the pressure in this round circling its opponent and dictating the pace. For natural scenery, Phuket schools Pattaya. Although Pattaya has some very nice countryside and quaint beachside areas such as Bangsaray, Phuket’s natural beauty with its mountainous coastal roads, national parks and subtropical location ensures a busy and productive round for the island.
Score: Phuket 10 – Pattaya 9

Round 3 – Pricing
This fight is now going into the trenches, with both opponents trading shots and trying to outmaneuver each other. Everyone knows that Phuket is the most expensive place in Thailand. Whether it’s accommodation, car rentals, transportation or even everyday items such as food and drink, Pattaya is the king for affordability. This round sees Pattaya really taking charge of the contest, due to its overall inexpensive demeanor.
Score: Phuket 9 – Pattaya 10

Round 4 – Transportation
Pattaya is totally taking over this fight as we reach the middle rounds. Anyone who has visited Phuket will know of the high prices when trying to traverse the island. In Pattaya, they have a slick transportation system, especially with the 10-Baht bus system which makes getting around Pattaya so simple and affordable. If you want to make a 200 meter tuk-tuk ride in Phuket it will cost you at least 200 Baht! Pattaya is now in its comfort zone striking with looping right hands at will with Phuket becoming noticeably fatigued.
Score: Phuket 9 – Pattaya 10

Round 5 – Diversity
Phuket has to make a stand now in the fight and consolidate its position or risk a shock knock-out loss! Fortunately, Phuket pretty much has it all, from some of the best beaches and dive locations in the world to an hedonistic nightlife – although it cannot match Pattaya for raunch – which gives the island a distinct advantage in the exchanges. Pattaya is world-famous for its almost apocalyptic nightlife, although it does have some great family attractions and countryside. However, although it’s a close round, Phuket does just enough to win this one!
Score: Phuket 10 – Pattaya 9

Round 6 – Culture
This is yet another hard round to score. With Thailand being such a cultural hotbed, this round shall be judged by the opponent who has stuck more closely to the cultural ideals of the country. Pattaya seems to be its own guy, creating its own style, which sometimes is not in line with Thailand on the whole, but which shows great uniqueness. On the other hand, Phuket adheres closer to the cultural and Buddhist beliefs of Thailand, and when comparing the Big Buddha Monuments in both places, Phuket’s is simply much bolder, taller, expensive and beautiful.
Score: Phuket 10 – Pattaya 9

Round 7 – Convenience
Going into the final two championship rounds, the scores are neck and neck. It has now become a war of attrition. Although Phuket’s infrastructure makes it quite a convenient place to holiday, Pattaya being just over one hour from Bangkok Suvarnabhumi Airport and its reliability for transport gives the Eastern Seaboard city the fighting edge. Phuket now needs a knockdown in the last round to win the fight.
Score: Phuket 9 – Pattaya 10

Round 8 – Beaches
Phuket comes out in the final rounds blazing on all cylinders, throwing haymaking blows looking to score a knockdown. When it comes to beaches, Phuket is in its element, wading in with uppercuts and hooks from every angle. Although Pattaya does have a few nice beaches, such as Bangsaray, Phuket finishes the round flurrying with Pattaya relieved to hear the final bell.

Final Decision on the Cards – Phuket 76 – Pattaya 76
A draw is the only fair result. Both opponents have varying styles that some people either love or hate from both quarters. It depends what style suits you, which will define how you score the fight every time. Both are great destinations, but one man’s steak is another man’s offal.


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