4 Invention Ideas for Farangs in Thailand

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Have you ever noticed how ingenious Thai people can sometimes be? If you need a new part for your car engineering in a local mechanic shop, the ideas they come up with are amazing. However, as Thailand can seem like a strange place to most Westerners who live here or come on holiday, here are some invention ideas that would make our life simpler in the Land of Smiles.

#1 – Inflatable Motorbike Guiders

Without bashing this country that we well and truly love, the driving here is a little bit suspect to say the least! When it comes to keeping on their own side of the road, it is an impossibility that resides in the same bracket as Stevie Wonder finishing a Rubik’s Cube. Did you ever see Stevie Wonder’s Rubik’s Cube? No? He hasn’t either!

One ingenious way to cut down on the motorbike crashes that blight driving on the roads here, is inventing what would be called ‘Inflatable Motorbike Guiders?’ Not a great marketing name I know, but bear with me on this one. If you have ever visited a ten-pin bowling alley, you will already be aware of the inflatable sausages that are used on the sides of the lanes for beginner bowlers, kids and idiots. Why don’t they devise the same idea for motorbikes? Imagine all the accidents that will be averted, or should I say rebounded!

#2 – MSG and Animal Fat Sensors

If you are one of those tin-foil-hat-wearing-David-Icke-types, or you are a vegetarian or do not want to consume food additives such as MSG, it can be a potential minefield tip-toeing around Thai food vendors trying to figure out what is in the food. If you ask a chef at a food vendor if their food is vegetarian, they will say ‘yes’, even if they have cooked it in fish sauce or some other animal fat product. There is no meat in their food so to them it is vegetarian.

Monosodium Glutamate, also more simply known as MSG, is a nasty food additive and flavouring that is used by some Thai chefs. Every time I get stopped at a police roadblock, they get out all the testing contraptions to test my urine, but wouldn’t it be great if they used the same sort of dabbing idea to sense animal fats and MSG in food? No? Just an idea!

#3 – Points-Based Coupon System for Discounted Bribery

Everyone loves a good promotion or bargain. Discounted coupon systems really do bring out the cheap Charlie in all of us. I don’t know about you, but I get stopped by a Police roadblock 3 or 4 times a week and in most cases, I am illegal in some way, or so they tell me. I must have helped to purchase lots of the desks and chairs in Jomtien Police station over the years and although I do not mind paying a bribe or two, they should invent a points-based coupon system or some kind of loyalty program for regulars like myself.

#4 – Spirit-Level-Style Shoe Soles with Alarms

If you know your Thai culture from your Thai adulterer, you will know that showing the soles of your feet in Thailand is a real no-no. Wouldn’t it be great have we invented a device like the bubble in a spirit level that triggers an alarm every time the soles of your shoes or feet are in a horizontal position? Do make sure you take them off before your exercising session in the gym or it might sound like a Tsunami evacuation warning.

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