3 things a man visiting Pattaya should know

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Although lots of women and families visit Pattaya in their droves, over the years, the city has been known as a place where men can escape from the stresses of the modern world and act the fool for a while. On average men die ten years younger than their female counterparts, so it’s hardly surprising that when we party, we shake the earth. The only problem with visiting Pattaya is that you need to know some essential things so you can keep a firm grip on reality. Here are 3 things a man should know when visiting Pattaya.

#1 – She loves me… she loves me not
Although you do have the charismatic charm of Charlie Sheen and the intellectual wit of an Islamic Scholar, the fact that you have a hefty wallet that could choke a dozen donkeys is probably the reason why this sweet 21-year-old is all over you like dermatitis. Not that it’s a bad thing – it’s quite a good thing really. What heterosexual man wouldn’t want a sultry young Thai minx bouncing on their lap?

Learn to see it for what it is – a business transaction so to speak. Sorry to douse your fire with water, but let’s keep a firm grip on reality here, we have not ascended into the realms of the fifth dimension just yet! Many European men have deep and meaningful relationships with Thai bargirls, but that is the exception to the rule, so be careful because these girls are emotional scientists. They might not have been to school but they press the right buttons with unnerving accuracy to part you from your money with new and creative ways that evolve on a daily basis… you have been warned!

#2 – Adam’s apple to be or not to be
If you don’t know by now, you must have been living on a mountaintop in Patagonia or combating nautical nightmares beneath the ocean searching for Atlantis! Thailand is the spiritual home of the ‘third gender’, known across the world as ladyboys. I have a tried and tested theory that has never let me down yet: ‘never make love with a woman that can beat you at arm-wrestling’ unless of course that’s your thing, then I would say go for it! If you are in a bar and playing pool with a too-beautiful-to-be-true sort of women whose voice is deeper than the fiery pits of hell, then it’s probably a ladyboy my son. However, sometimes it’s not that simple, because even an old hand as such as myself can be fooled from time to time because they are very beautiful and hide their meat and veg very skillfully. Even my gaydar fails every now and then, so keep your wits about you!

#3 – It’s just a game
It’s just a game lads, don’t take things too seriously. Maybe a taxi driver is trying to scam you out of some extra cash, or those peddlers selling bits of wood that sound like frogs keep hassling you and won’t leave you alone, or maybe too many chilies in the food are giving you a bad stomach. Remember, it’s just a game really, so make the best of every day when you are here because who knows when you will be able to visit a city such as Pattaya again.

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